Pesudo-Game Plan.

I am starting to wonder how could I possible feel well- assured of myself if I do not feel safe even within my own mind. At times I feel extremely guilty and ashamed when I over look the past courses I have taken and some of the grades of which I received on my transcript. The lack of focus and the abundant scatter my transcript reveals is upsetting to say the least. Obviously, like most unsatisfied people If were given the chance to go back in time I would undoubtedly try to progress myself for the most part. However, I am also well aware dwelling over past mistakes and reminiscing over past regrets will leave you in and endless cycle of self-denial. I have come to the conclusion that in order to succeed I must keep my head up and a firm grip on reality. The only issue that constantly reoccurs across my mind is a sense of emptiness; not too sure if it is the low iron levels or perhaps a non-related physiological issue. Personally, I find it hard to describe what I feel the majority of the time because for the most part I am not all there. Therefore, I am going to attempt to achieve the most and ignore my own emotional state for the time being because honestly, I do not recall the last time I was ever truly happy. I mean I smile at times though, mostly out of expectations.

Anticipation.

Just one call.

Waiting quietly and patiently.

No response.

My outlook may have seemed grim, the idea in itself was imaginable to concur.

The Urgency of Seeking Truth.

Strong hands falsely shielded those whom were unaware of the hopes and cries they ran from in the past, whom reluctantly revealed themselves with open arms. The sadness did not unfold until those strong hands were used to exploit your defense, those of which you yearn to be be held by and crested by. All infinite lies transgressed like the ripples of a gentle pond into a rapid storm; how quickly one's nature drastically can change. Every glance, every smirk, every touch encompassed your tainted heart, of heart of which never had substance. Gazing back at your devious stare, the hollowness deep in your eyes was a warning - nothing was there.

Summer Time Bliss

I am starting to find it unnerving to be able to enjoy summer in NYC let along living in Brooklyn. Clearly, things have never been slower then usually; mentally and physically. I hope I am not the only one loathing this NYC tourist-garbage-filled island. Oh, the evident crystal blue Mediterranean Sea where art thy?